Goodbyes

I had been feeling pretty ready to leave here, until Thursday night. We had a dinner in our honor at the Baobab Center. All of our teachers were invited, plus other Baobab staff we've gotten close to. Our group has been here longer than any others, because no other program at the center lasts more than 4 months. Because of that, and the strong personalities in our group, we've become favorites with everyone from the guardians to the maids to the teachers.

Each of us talked about some memories or feelings about our time in Dakar, and each of our teachers talked about us. Rama spoke last, and kept looking at me as she was talking about the personal moments she'd shared with our group and how she's gotten so close with us. Finally she just said "Especially Erica. I'll miss that one." That and our other professors ("All I can say is, I adore these girls." "They've become children to me." "I've never had such a conscientious, enthusiastic class before.") made me realize that the relationships we've developed with our professors and the staff here is a completely uniquely Senegalese thing. The candidness of our conversations with our professors is not something I can even picture at school in the US.

That dinner made me feel truly sad for the first time about leaving. Then, on Friday night, Katy and Christine left for Europe. Katy will be back in Dakar for five hours next Friday night before we leave again for the US. Christine will get back to Dakar after the rest of us have left, and she'll be here until May. I hung out at Katy's house for a short time before we took her to the airport. When we were all saying goodbye to her family, her host dad told us about how we've become part of his family, especially after a few of us went to his son's baptism (remember that, way back in September?). He said that the fact that we'd gone meant the world to him, and he would never forget it. Naturally, we all cried, especially Katy.

I'm not all that close with my host family. Still, I have a lot of love and affection for my family members, and I appreciate them. It will be hard to say goodbye, and I am dreading that moment. I'm sure I will be back, and I'm sure I will see them again. But I doubt I'll live with them again, and I doubt I'll stay in close touch.

I've also been realizing lately that leaving Dakar means much more than just that. I'm not just leaving this place, I'm leaving this whole experience. I'm going to be saying goodbye to the people I've met and come to care for deeply, but I'll also be saying goodbye to this phase of my life. This is the only time I'll be on a study abroad, where I arrive in a place with a built-in support network and a family waiting for me and field trips provided. This is the one time I'll travel around the world with friends from school and spend six months doing just about whatever strikes my fancy.

In the time I've been here, I've done things that never would have occurred to me before, and I don't know how many of those things I'll ever have the opportunity to do again. For example, how many times will I be in a family that will slaughter two sheep and a goat for a Muslim holiday? How often can I go to a Muslim naming ceremony, or a wedding where the bride and groom aren't present? When will I be able to go on a 10km barefoot walk through mud and rice paddies, or dip my finger in freshly pressed mangrove honey?

I have had such a rich, eye-opening, welcoming experience. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to it all.

I love this place, and these people.

So little time.

It just struck me how soon I leave. Tomorrow morning we have re-entry session, and Thursday night is our farewell dinner at the Baobab Center. Friday night Christine and Katy go to Europe because our program will be over. I have one weekend left.

I want to put together a mini-performance (I guess more of a showcase?) of the circus stuff I've been doing. I'd been planning on doing it some weekend...but then there weren't any practices last week, and now I'm almost out the door. I think I can make it work, but wow! Down to the wire here.

I'm still waiting for some things at the tailor, I have souvenirs to buy at the markets, I want to travel down south to the Casamance and Ziguinchor and the Gambia. I want to get a tan (it's been too cold for that lately!), finish Guns, Germs, and Steel (which will be harder since I just started Flatland), work out more, cook with Remy, hang out with my Senegalese friends, and so much more.

On top of all that, I have to do a ton more work on my ICRP, which is due a week from tomorrow. There's still plenty of time, so I'm taking my time and not stressing over the paper, but I know that at the last minute I will end up with more to do than I was hoping. At this point I've written about four pages out of fifteen.

Some things I miss from home today (I think I'll start listing these things more so I remember what this is like and to get me more excited about re-entry):

• Cheese! So many varieties, so many uses, so inexpensive!
• Kitchens with all the luxurious implements I'm accustomed to. We all freaked out when we saw that Remy has a salad spinner--that's the most high-tech I've seen here
• Electricity. I know that it's a big deal in the US when the power goes out, because everyone depends on it. The fact that it CAN be depended on is really nice. We've been getting more and more outages lately, and everyone is in a bad mood because of it.
• Nutrition Facts. This is really silly, I know, but sometimes I'll buy a packet of cookies or something and want to know what's in them! Are they super high calorie? Do they have any iron?
• Running. I'm not much of a runner, but I love being able to just put on some running shoes and head out when I want to work out. Here, the pollution, uneven roads, lack of sidewalks, piles of trash, and insane drivers make it not worthwhile to me.
• Being a racial majority. It's hard being a minority (duh)! Kids constantly dare each other to touch the toubab, or make fun of the toubab, or ask the toubab for a gift. Almost every kid I make eye contact with asks me for money or a gift. And most guys I talk to eventually ask me to go out with them or to marry them. In general I can be in good humor about it, but some days it really wears me down.
• My family and friends. I'm not one to miss people much. It surprises me how much I miss being around people who won't judge me based on individual actions, but on my character which, they already know. There's something so freeing in being around people who have already decided they love you no matter what, so you never really need your guard up. Since all my friends here are recent acquaintances, I've had times with all of them when I feel like I'm being misjudged based on something insignificant I've done or said.

I'm having a great time, by the way. Today I did acro-yoga in the morning, and Remy joined me. Then we went back to his house and met up with Christine and Meredith. We played in the ocean, did a workout on the beach, rinsed off, and made lunch. The weather today has been gorgeous--it's the first time in a long while when I've been slightly too warm in yoga pants.

I'm looking forward to our re-entry session tomorrow: lunch is provided, and we'll get to talk about what we're looking forward to at home and our reflections on the program.

Feeling quite content, though pressed for time.

Weekend Number...who knows.

It's a Sunday! Katy slept over last night and we slept in late. I've been making some good progress on my paper, and when I can't think about it anymore I take a break and read. I'm about three-fourths through with Sense and Sensibility and about the same in Guns, Germs, and Steel. It's nice to be reading more again, and it keeps me from feeling lonely more than most things.

Last night I went out to a bar and found myself chatting with a bunch of cool people. Notably, I met a guy who's a drummer from Philadelphia who has been living in Dakar for three years now. He happens to be close friends with my friend Chloe's older brother--Chloe and I went to Hebrew school together. It was pretty crazy to discover that some random guy I met in a bar has a common acquaintance with me. Apparently he and Chloe and her brother hung out in Dakar together for about a week last year and had a blast.

Tonight there's apparently a Peace Corps party, which I'm considering going to. Still, I don't really like dancing, and I do really like being well-rested. Why do I bother going out?

I'm on to the third page of my paper, and the still on the first page of my (5-page) outline. This bodes well for a 15-20 page paper. I just wish I was as eloquent in French as I am in English. Ah well, "ca va arriver". It'll come.

I leave now in just under two weeks. I feel like I've already plateaued, and I'm in a good place to go home. Especially with my stomach still not quite up to snuff, with the weather getting chilly, and actually having significant schoolwork to do, I'm looking forward to getting home. I'm looking forward to re-entry sessions, getting on a plane (this is the longest I've gone without being on a plane in years), and hot showers. Not to mention family, friends, and clean feet (okay, that last one probably sounds really silly, but you don't know how frustrating it is to NEVER have clean feet unless you've experienced it for an extended period of time).

Overall, feeling pretty content.

Oh, and an anecdote. Apparently Youssou got a job as a coiffeur (barber), even though he's never learned the trade. Rowan told Papa this over lunch (maffe! Delicious!), and Papa had been taking a swig of water. Papa lost it, spit water all over, and couldn't stop laughing. Everyone cracked up, and throughout the meal Papa would say, "Youssou, coiffeur?!" and lose it all over again. Papa has finally regained an appetite, plus about 10 lbs. He's looking great, and it's wonderful that he's back to his old humor.

Research and Counting Down

I've been working on a research project on tontines in Senegal. I've interviewed a few women and read a bunch of scholarly articles, organized the information I've gathered into an outline, and am about ready to start writing. I'm hoping to do all my writing in the next week or so, and then be DONE.

I only have two weeks (and one day) left in Senegal. I'm hoping to spend a little bit of the time I have left in the south of Senegal and maybe in the Gambia. There's a boat that goes down overnight, which is supposed to be a lot of fun (plus it means not having to go over the horrible road to Ziguinchor).

I think my stomach illness is finally easing up. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm also not completely exhausted or in pain. Hopefully I'll be able to go to circus tomorrow and actually do some fun stuff.

As Promised

Here's a non-angsty anecdote:

At lunch a few minutes ago Papa was telling me that I had to eat a lot, and then he shoved the whole communal bowl of food over right in front of me. Everyone else who was eating out of the bowl (five people) either protested that they couldn't reach any more or lost it laughing.

Cute.

More Illness!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been really busy and then wound up with another bout of illness.

I've had a stomach issue for a while, but it sort of blew up on Friday, combined with a major hypoglycemic attack. It all happened in a social forum in Dakar, while I was sitting alone somewhere where no one noticed me. It was a scary hour or so before my friend got me home safely, and the whole weekend I was pretty much stuck in bed.

I'm feeling sort of hopeless about being ill, since I don't feel like I'm getting better. I do have energy again, but my stomach issues don't seem to be resolving at all. Plus, being cooped up in my house so much has put all my pet peeves on high alert--TVs on all the time, people yelling to each other in the same room, people coming into my room without knocking, chewing and popping gum with mouths open, etc.

I feel so isolated! Like I can't really do anything useful, but I also can't do anything fun. Everyone is busy, so no one is going to come and hang out with me all day, so I just end up alone for the most part. This sucks! It needs to end ASAP!

Anyways. Stuff here will be better soon, and then I'll write a less angsty post. I only have two and a half weeks left here, so I'll be sure to post as much as possible before I leave.

Sympathy and well-wishes welcome, in the meantime.

A Birthday Weekend

I'd say my birthday weekend started on Friday night. Theresa, Meredith, Christine, Aya, and I all went to New Africa for dinner and salsa dancing. The food took an hour and a half to show up (?!?!) but it was quite tasty. It was great to finally do some partner dancing again, though I have a lot more experience with swing dance than with salsa.

On Saturday, I went to circus in the morning (though I was too tired to get a lot done). I'm FINALLY making some good progress with the straddle climb, which looks good and is more efficient than most climbing methods. Right now I can do about four climbs, but I'm still not gaining as much elevation as I ought to be. Still, it's getting better each time I try it.

After lunch, I went to school, then went to the supermarket to buy ingredients for sushi and birthday cake. We also bought some frozen quiche and frozen pizza, just to be sure we'd have enough food. After that, we headed back to the Baobab Center and cooked! Aya (with help from Meredith and our new friend Remi) made no fewer than seven sushi rolls, filled with various combinations of crab, cream cheese, cucumber, carrot, and avocado. I (with help from Theresa) made my Deep Dark Chocolate Cake--the chocolate cake recipe that I've memorized and use any time I need to whip out a cake.

After the cake went into the oven, I realized we'd forgotten the eggs! We added them in, and waited over an hour (usually takes 30-45 mins) for the cakes to bake. The oven just didn't get hot enough, so we finally gave up. They were definitely cakes, but they were so moist and sticky that they were sort of like fudgy, fluffy brownies.

While we were waiting for the cakes, I made some cheese sauce for mac and cheese, which we ate from the pot while sitting on cushions on the floor and watching Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was pretty great.

After cleaning up the kitchen and classroom where cooking had happened, we bought some wine and headed to the huge monument (just bigger than the Statue of Liberty). Turns out you can't go up to the monument that late at night, so we gave up and went to MyShop, a convenience store that is a happening place on weekend nights. We drank our wine and chatted, and then I headed home and everyone else went out dancing.

Yesterday, Sunday, I went to the Baobab Center early to heat up the quiches and pizza, and then everyone met up and we headed out to Ngor. We took a boat across to the island, found a cozy spot with mats to lay on and a nice stretch of beach, and set up camp. We made some good damage on the food we'd brought and then napped for a while.  The whole time, I was marveling over the fact that here it was, early February, and I was celebrating my birthday in a bikini on a beach. I've never gotten to do that before! It was lovely to be there.

It wasn't until about 5pm that the party finally arrived (I'd told everyone to come around noon, knowing it'd be another few hours no matter what I said.

Three of my circus friends showed up, and they showed off their stuff and helped us with handstands and fun stuff. Christine came with her mom, and Youssou and Sire and Aya's boyfriend El Hadj all showed up, too. We ate cake and polished off the rest of the food we'd brought, chatted, and hung out on the beach. We made a pyramid with everyone (except Christine's mom, who we excused). When pictures go up, I'll try to post one here. I was on top, standing on someone's shoulders.

When it started getting dark, we headed to some cliffs and watched the waves for a while and chatted. Then we moved over to a restaurant, and the non-American portion of the group headed home on the last ferry. The rest of us had dinner and wine and good conversation before heading home at around 10:30.

Overall, it was a great weekend. I felt loved and honored and was surrounded by wonderful people. It was amazing to me that I didn't know/wasn't friends with any of the people there 8 months ago, and now they're important parts of my life.

And today I actually turned 21! I loved celebrating here, and I'm looking forward to doing it over again at K and in California. Look at all these communities I have now! I feel so lucky.

Great Day!

Mom is complaining that I sound depressed all the time (okay, not really), so I thought I'd write a happy post to prove her wrong.

Yesterday I woke up at about 10, took my time getting up and to the Baobab Center, and then made myself some soup for lunch. It was chicken broth with noodles, sweet potato, chick peas, corn, carrots, onion, and scallions. Very tasty. Katy and her parents came and ate lunch with me, and then we all went to the market. It was a great day to be there--practically every vendor was there; I've never seen the market so full of goods.

I bought Zork a boubou (this has become my favorite phrase: Zork-a-boubou. Sounds like an exotic dish or something.)--Zork is my brother's freshman year roommate whose name is actually Dan, but who I named Zork to avoid confusing him with my brother. Surprisingly, the name stuck. Who knew I was so powerful?

In expressing interest in one vendor's boubous, we toubabs (white people) were suddenly swarmed with no fewer than 6 vendors with stacks of boubous in their arms shoving their goods in our faces. It was a little overwhelming for Katy's parents, but amusing for us.

After the market, we went to the tailor to get the fabric we'd just bought made into clothes. Katy's dad will soon have African fish pajamas, which I'm sure he'll treasure for a long time. It was nice to see Xal, my tailor. I go see him every chance I get because he's so wonderful.

After the tailor, Katy's parents wanted to sit somewhere and drink coffee (and they wanted real coffee, not Nescafe, so our options were limited). We went to a hotel near the ocean where we've had dinner a few times and drank coffee and hot cocoa at their rooftop restaurant, overlooking the fishing boats in the ocean.

By then it was pretty late (everything moves slowly here), so I went home for dinner. Dinner was pretty good last night: black eyed peas with some meat and potatoes and a tasty sauce, eaten with bread.

This morning I went to circus and had a fairly good workout. I was pretty ill on Tuesday with stomach problems and a migraine, so I was still weak and fatigued today and not able to do as much as usual. Still, I did get the hang of one move I've been working on for FAR too long. Maybe when I have my strength back I'll actually be able to do it well!